I am not happy here which is a shock. And once I recover from that shock, I realize that it is because I don’t have you. And having something that means something to me enough to make EUROPE (my dream) seem small and unimportant, is too beautiful not to feel happy. So I am happy. I am so in love with you. So here I sit, not trying to be sad anymore. Your existence in my life makes that dark sadness completely not exist at all. And you make that darkness seem irrational and unreachable. And these realizations have helped me see my happy and my love. And once again I have to be careful when thinking about trees in front of strangers for fear of happy crying.